The first 6-7 hours back home was probably the hardest part of the adjustment. I wasn't used to being alone again, not used to the unit space and the quietness. The lights in my house are a little dimmer than the room I've been staying at for the past 12 days. Zeren managed to get his accomodation which is a room upstairs a dental clinic. I know it sounds weird to alot of people and to me at first but when you actually stay there, it's just normal. It's the first time for me sharing a house with strangers and on top of that, share bathrooms with not only housemates but patients of the clinic as well. It is interesting and the only boo part is that when you have to go to the bathroom, you're exposed to melbourne's cold and then back into the main house and down the stairs. I guess it's hilarious to me when zeren comes rushing back into the room as if he's been out in the storm. No worries, there's shelter all the way. And probably secretly, he's thinking the same when I come back from the bathroom as well.

Thanks to Alan, he's sent me a link of Matt Harding's video of his project. Never heard of that guy but when you see his video, you're thinking 'why, that's an hella of an idea!' It's an awesome video. Then I started clicking on his lectures which he did in Champlain College. One and a half hours of his lecture and I just wish I had his life. Travelling and going places and meeting people and animals. It's just amazing. I absolutely love the part when he mentioned that when he came back from his first trip. He felt that it wasn't enough. Gut told him that he should continue. That 'not enough' feeling was what I experienced in Melbourne.

On the third last day, Zeren was having his orientation and I was looking forward to exploring his area of Brunswick, Gertrude and Smith Street on foot by myself. And I was also going there to prepare his 'ultimate basic care package'. It's my idea. I popped into vintage stores and bookshops. I bought my first book that day and it was two bucks. I didn't have breakfast as we didn't have food then. It was the beginning of his stay above the dental clinic. I did something very french. I never usually dine alone in public places. I just feel that with food, you should have company but I was starving. I walked past so many cafes and takeaways but I didn't go into any. Until I stopped outside this cafe and gut told me to go in. I was thinking maybe I must have walked into the wrong place. It was just too nice and must be pricey but I didn't want to be rude and stayed. The lady asked me what I was looking for? I told her I wanted a hot chocolate and something to eat. She proceed to show me her cakes and muffins. She then looked at my face and passed me a menu. It was hard deciding what to eat and she asked what did I feel like? I just said bacon. It was the first thing that sprang out of my head. 'How about a toasted BLT?' I told her I'll take that. It wasn't that pricey.

So I sat at a small table and took out my new book. It's a good book by the way. I said there with my hot chocolate and reading. Toasted sandwich came and it's the best sandwich I've ever had in my whole life. I'm not kidding you at all. It just tasted so beautiful in my mouth. I just felt like some girl in a french movie. Sitting by herself at this place, with a book and having a hot drink and a sandwich. I'm just missing the part where I'm supposed to wear this nice dress and hat. I was dressed to keep warm. That's the main thing. I complimented the lady on her food and Coco Cafe is one of my favourite cafes now. On that day, I explored the area and including the night where I went back to the same place to have dinner with Zeren, I travelled a total of 9km by foot. Carrying my big camera, gear and a green bag. I just kept walking and walking and going into shops, discovering new things.

It was that day that spurred something in me that I wasn't done with Melbourne. The next day I woke up, the first thing I asked Zeren was 'what do you think if I stayed longer?' He said he would like that but I'll be alone since he had to work. Told him I'm fine with it. I was balancing that idea in my head. Picked up the book and map to see where to explore that day and thought about Bayside or Williamstown where I'll have to take the train. The idea was just such a thrill to me. But the idea of staying longer was a decision I had to make. I called both my parents up and asked what they thought of it. That exploration day just put a smile on my face and I was happy for the first time in a very long time. Zeren would know. I haven't been happy in a long time. Both of them were supportive and told me to go ahead. I asked Zeren by text but I also wanted to meet him in person to sit down and discuss this idea. I didn't want to change my ticket yet since I can only change it 4 hours prior to take off. I waited outside Park Hyatt for Zeren (he didn't know I'll be there) and we were supposed to have dinner with Shih han. We talked and I was very sure of it. My gut was telling me something that I had unfinished business. It was very sure. From then on in Melbourne, I started to trust my gut and instinct. They seem to do right. And they did right for me. I'm glad I stayed. Weird enough, he had 5 days off.

With this whole gut thing, I've been trying to readjust myself in adelaide with it. One of the issues was that I've been constantly hit with a headache everyday. I got it in the beginning of the melbourne trip, before the trip but it stopped for a week or more. I've been getting bad headaches since I got back and thinking of seeing a doctor for it. I hate to take painkillers. If possible, I would ride it out but it's just getting insane. I took two yesteday. Zeren and I are suffering the same kind of 'loneliness' on our own sides, especially when we both wake up. It's a short while, Zeren. Hang in there.

Another thing is that I'm slowly beginning to get irritated by some people. My high school mate just can't stop talking about herself. She'll ask about me here and there but she doesn't get me anymore. I realised that I've changed in perspective wise, not in character since I came to Australia. Before then, I would be like 'what about tv and music? they're so outdated there..' Honestly, I haven't watched music videos in ages since I got here and I'm fine by that. In Melbourne, I didn't watch tv for 12 days and only used the comp for minesweeper and checking my email. I read most of the time. Newspapers, free magazines and books that I bought. That's how I exceeded the luggage weight. The books! I just love books. I got so used to it that it felt weird watching tv on day one in adelaide. Just weird. I hardly watch much of it now unless there's something good on tv like Speed. Love that movie.

The change is the drift away from what most people enjoy and going back to simple. I just love it. I just love the simple and uncomplicated thing. Melbourne city is complicated and congested. It felt suffocating to be honest in the beginning. Zeren and I would rather pass right through it and not stop if possible. The only complicated thing for me is just all in my head. Things that go on inside is something unexplainable. Otherwise, it's simple from here on. I suspect that in my uni, they teach you that a simple thing is better in communicating than something that is too much. There's my influence.

I've got friends who are complicated. I've got one friend who just wants to prove something to me when I don't need anything for her to prove. But the more she does it, the less I think highly of her. If you want to do it, just do it. But don't have to go all out to say, 'oh! you know I could have done that if it wasn't for that!' Show off in my face all you want but the more I don't give a rat's ass. But I will remember her as a friend she was in high school. And then I have another friend. She gets everyone banging our heads. We're all different and that's my opinion I reckon. But I know she's another person I'm going to start not giving a rat's ass. I'm born in the year of the rat. Poor rats that I've got to use our own asses.

I'm thankful that I know people who aren't like that. Zeren would probably get most of my whinging about these two girls. It's okay...I get more whinging from him than he gets from me.

Oh the unfinished business part. Many people would think that I stayed a week longer because of Zeren. He's a small part (sorry, love) but mostly it's because I'm doing something for me. I hardly do anything for myself and this was the right thing to do. The only place that draws me from Melbourne is the shrine of remembrance. Such a peaceful place and you feel it all. The courage that the men have gone through. You just feel it even though you're not involved. It was later that day, my sister drew up the record of my Granddad who served as a sergeant during WWII in Australia from 1939 - 1945. He despatched from south australia where I am right now. I'll let my sister do the document side but by the end of the year, I'm planning to come back to melbourne to visit the shrine and also, drive up to ballarat to talk to Neville Denning. Served with Granddad and last surviving member of the team. I hope he's still around. I would like to know stuff.

Sorry for the long post. Quite a read but I've attached Matt Harding's video. Wish I get to meet this guy too. Weird enough, he looks alot like my brother-in-law. Photos are on their way. One photo for now. The Shrine of Remembrance.

PS: Dark Knight is awesome. Best movie I've seen in years and I hate my hair. :)

Hey all, I'm back from Melbourne. Original plan was to be there for one week but on the second last day, I extended my stay till another week which I'm glad I did. At the moment, I'm trying to readjust to a less hectic environment and getting used to my old house again. Been living in a room upstairs of a dental clinic. It's quite an experience and interesting. I have tons of photos that I have to edit and I will write up different stuff that happen on certain days. Meantime, I'm waiting for my routine house inspection to happen. Yes I just got home at 8-ish this morning and opened my letters to find an inspection happening to day. Gosh!

I think I really like the idea of getting away so much. Just running away to somewhere new is just something for me now. I'll end it here for now.