With my constant weekend problems, I finally decided to resolve help. I dare not ask my friends for fear that I would burden them. I don't think it's nice too.

With the recent trend of friendsters, things have turned around. I remembered liking a certain guy and I lost interest after a while, knowing that it'll be impossible. Through friendster and a good friend of mine(yet to thank her), we were kinda brought together as friends. He's a great person and he makes me smile. We even made plans to celebrate his birthday.

At this moment, I don't mind going out. Cos I just want to run away. Therefore, the nick 'take me away'. Not only inspired by a lifehouse song, the 3 words say so much for me. I feel like a lost soul constantly drifting in the real world. I guess that's me, that's my life.

I've always felt so unlucky when it comes to relationships. I just hope this one will work out.

Busy, busy, busy. That's the most 'happening' thing to it. I married to my work already. Haha! I don't mind being busy and being absorbed into my work. I can say, it's a world that I can temporily escape to. I don't mind the late nights and working in the early hours of morning where peace is greatly appreciated.

With the past few rages that has been happening at home. SP, without a doubt, you're my second home. Tension is always building up within me whenever the waves are attacking. I feel like a victim either being targeted or caught in the middle. Speaking to my friends, can't really help much. I'm worried that I'll be whining and bugging them. I rather suffer in silence and bear the possibility of a mental breakdown.

Recently, I found out that I had liked was in a relationship. Heard it from somebody. Thing is, I've been so preoccupied that I forgot about it. I admit that I was crushed for a moment and after thinking it through, I kinda feel better, happier and relieved. I don't know and I don't get it.

Right now, my heart is worrying whether I'll be preyed upon if I get up from this chair. The beast is doing her own stuff and I worry that she might stop halfway and unleash the fire within on me. I want to runaway. I tried facing the problem but it's the beast who refuses to see reality. Take me away...

I'm so glad that shooting is over!! Yea!! Well, the teasing part.....

It's been a really odd week for me since the news about me acting as a wife and dressing up for wedding spread around. People whom I hardly get a chance to talk to started making little comments. Man, you have no idea how many times I have the urge to kick someone's ass. Especially the guys on the set....wait until I get my hands on them.

But yesterday was fun. We had a lot of playing on the set and the best part was dinner. It was the first time having a real conversation with the people I've never get to spend 5 minutes talking to except for 2 of them. One of them, I could spend hours talking to her. But that's another issue. It's like I'm finally having a chance to open the doors to let them see me as....me! Often, I get misunderstood for what they see me on the outside. Like I said, I'm just like you. It was a great experience working with them. Now, the video.....erm...I'll move along to something else.

I'm slowly adjusting to the extreme late nights and I have to come up with more designs for the presentation tomorrow. It's tough but I'm willing to work my ass off if I have to....haha! Green tea please!!

The speaker for the video lecture was somehow inspiring. Though he was good-lookin' and all (but sadly, married), his words really meant something. Bringing out the creativity in you and how ideas are like treasure. Tangible assets that you alone can control but it's up to you to share it for people whom you trust. I guess it applies a little to life. Best part was he mentioned about taking 30 students into this company for internship. I really hope that I could be one of the students. It's so cool! Pretty fast that our poly lives are ending. Well, enjoy the present while we can!

Ok, back to work!

Wow....this is one of the rare chances that I get to write my beloved blog again!! The whole week has been pretty packed with assignments and late nights. My sleeping hours have been decreasing tremedously and sugar & tea on always on top of my survival list.

Well, tomorrow is one day that I would like to get through and be done with it. Seriously! I've been teased lately cos I'm supposed to don a wedding gown to act in a video assignment. Never in my life I would have thought of it. I collected the gown today and it was really beautiful. It was sewn by my friend's friend's mom. Talented! It was just nice and ok, I admit it. I enjoyed that few minutes. It really made me feel like a princess...oops...thinking back when I was in kindergarden. Only disadvantage, it's heavy and I'm the usual T-shirt and jean kind of person. This is a little too much to handle. I'll take real good care of it since it's made by someone's mom.

Sigh...Linkin Park has been my motivation. Their music has been keeping me going and inspired some new ideas for a presentation. Speaking of presentation, I'm so worried sick about it!! It's on monday and I can assure you that due to the tight schedule, not much effort was put in. How are we gonna be compared to some 'machine'? I'm willing to sacrifice sleep again.

My grandma is staying over tomorrow and I feel kinda bad that I might not be back for dinner. She's real nice and cool. I think she's cool with it but I still feel bad...hardly get to see her. Ok, I better get cracking. Green tea please!!

I really hate the weekends. Don't get me wrong, it's the time for rest but I don't get it. Especially the ears. When I'm at home, there'll be endless ringing in my ears and the only good characteristic that I possess - tolerance. I try to block things out but fail to do so.

Needless to say, it just started. The rage has been unleashed and I was the first one to be attacked. *Sigh* How I wish for this weekend and every other weekend to end. And next to me, I've got pure denial on my right. Claiming that she's not reading what I'm typing.

I really do want to escape to somewhere else. You have no idea the urge I have , just to run away and stay there for as long as the dark clouds in the old place has cleared.

For all I have to say, think before you speak. Put yourself into other people's shoes when you're gonna pick a fight. Listen to the other party. I wish I could tell this to both parties, but I'll just end up getting caught in the middle as usual and suffer. I can feel the heaviness of the burden in my heart and this is the only way I can lighten it - write in my blog but it won't do much good. I want to talk to somebody or just shout as loud as I can. But those possibilities... pointless to go on now.

Reality bites. Period.

Photos and more photos to upload... But I enjoy doing it. It's cool to capture stuff that goes on everyday and remember it.

Anyway, everyone says that there is not limit to dreaming but has anyone talked about limits to making it come true. Sure, I believe there's no such thing as impossible. Maybe for some cases, there's still barriers pulling people back from fulfilling their dreams. For example, some people plan for what they want in their lives. And they dream so much that they forget what's actually happening in reality. It kinda distance them from getting what they want if they don't settle the present. Even they don't and they managed to move on, do you think u can live with it? I'm not trying to sound like a philosopher. Just a thought...that's all.

Another thing, being the middle-man seems to come to me naturally. Even between family members. I feel like I'm so stuck in between that I don't know what to say. All I could do is withstand the constant pushing of blames and I get most of it in both my ears. How irritating it must sound but I have to be there for people...to let them know that I can be there for them.

My mom told me that that's my weakness. Putting people before others. No worries. I still draw a line when it comes to certain situations. I'm trying to be the daughter who tries to lighten the burden of my parents. I try to be the patient friend who listens and be there. It's not a chore but I do this so that other people can smile and be happy. Even though, sometimes, I suffer and keep it to myself. I won't deny that I cry alone. Sometimes I feel like this huge balloon waiting to burst but there'll always be something inside to supress the urge. For I don't want to upset others around me. If they're happy, then I should be glad for them.

It's true that I wish I had someone to share what's going with me - happy or sad, good or bad. But it seems difficult. It is difficult. I don't know what to do but only a note of discouragement from the back of my head would pop up. What a sad life I lead eh?

Today is the first time I had a formal presentation. It was nerve-wrecking even though it's just in front of classmates but you have to prove yourself to be a professional. Man, all the hard work gone into it. Most of us didn't get enough sleep and it's a miracle that we'll able to get through it.

I only had four hours of rest and I had to get up to get ready for school. Even though I tried my best to look presentable, all else failed to cover the dark areas under my eyes. You can say that I look hagged and with the formal top, I look stiff. I wonder how other people can carry it off so well while me on the other hand, belong to the minority.

Lately, I've been getting to know more people. Well yeah, I see them on a daily basis. But it's different once you slowly get to know them. I'm kinda enjoy it.

Arghh! Can't take it, my eyes are shutting and I can't get the terrible mirror image of myself out of my head. It's like been through hell and out....haha....anyway, until the next terrible story of my life....